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HASTYCATS ATTACK!!

New York City, NY- In a move that shocked the world, HastyCats joined the War on Terror, pelting major cities globally with suicide cat bombs, dubbed "Kamikaze Kittens."The coordinated attack is the frightening first step in the HastyCats bid for world domination. The U.N. has yet to comment on this shocking state of affairs, but even with an international backing little can be done to wrest ourselves from the mercy of the HastyCats.

The Bush administration derided the HastyCats attack with its usual bravado and cliched gunslinger catchphrases issued at a press conference in the subterranian fortress installed in the whitehouse after the attacks of 9/11.

"These. HastyCats. They, the're THREATENING, they, uhhhhh....bring it on! Ill get them like I got Saddam!"Bush quipped, seeking reassurance from vice-president Dick Cheney, who was too busy nuzzling his face in a mountain of hogfat.

While there is no clear pattern to the HastyCats attacks, it is safe to assume that they seek to undermine the very foundation of modern society, and will stop at nothing leaving the world in chaos while they satisfy their strangely mongolian derision of society and techonology.

While these attacks continue, there seems to be little option other than stay in your basement, if you live in a densely populated urban area, avoid landmarks and giant balls of yarn.


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